Guardian - Spideypool
by pietromaximoff
Summary: AU: Due to always being away and busy with work, Mary and Richard Parker hire a guardian for their son to look after him. Who is chosen? Wade Wilson. Wade learns the difficulties of raising a child as Peter grows up, and now adult Peter learns how problematic it is having a crush on someone who is forever stuck at 25. Rated T because Deadpool. Spideypool later on.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Guess who's gotten off of her lazy arse and started writing again? Well... not me because I'm still sitting lazily whilst writing this... but at least I'm being productive! Kinda... Anyway, I've been meaning to write this since September because Spideypool=OTP. Don't worry, this isn't going to be creepy shit... Well as much as possible considering it's got Deadpool in it... And I'm gonna try to do it all in 3rd person so we'll see how that goes... Eh, never too late to try right? **

**Anyway, short chapter one but it didn't feel right including the next part in with this, so it's probably going to be lots of short 'n sweet chapters until later on in the story. Thanks for checking it out!**

**~Rara**

* * *

_"Congratulations Mr and Mrs Parker, it's a beautiful baby boy," the nurse said softly, lifting the crying baby so it was in sight of the couple. Richard put his hand on his wife's shoulder with a small smile whilst the nurse was still in sight but gave a small grimace in thought of what would come from this. _

_"Don't worry Mary, I promise; I've sorted out the necessary details. It's all up to S.H.I.E.L.D now," he whispered to her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I trust them to pick wisely."_

* * *

_One year later_

"So… Peter, right?" The 25-year-old strolled in to the house and dumped his denim jacket (embellished with band patches of Metallica and Pearl Jam (to name a few) sloppily sewed on the back) upon the floor at the entrance of the Parker house and kicked his muddy sneakers off; however he kept the mask over his face on. He plopped himself down on the sofa and put his feet up on the coffee table.

"Yes, he's in his cot upstairs at the moment," replied Mary rather curtly.

"Well you're paying me good money… Can't deny that," he shrugged. "It's not my usual job… I've done bodyguard work before but not for a baby," he snorted. "But yeah, I'll take it."

"With all due respect sir, we don't even know your na–"

"S.H.I.E.L.D chose him honey, we can trust them to have made good decisions," Richard hissed, grabbing his wife's arm and pulling her back.

"Th' name's Wade. Wilson. Wade Wilson," he said nonchalantly, oblivious to the fact that the parents already disliked him as a guardian for their son. "9-5, Monday to Friday, if you need me here's my card." He stood up and put his hand in his pockets, pulling out a stack of cards.

"Here you g- oh _shit_," he muttered as they slipped out of his hands onto the floor. He sifted through the various ones: mercenary for hire, bodyguard for hire etc. until he found the one he needed.

"I need to make one for this baby sitting business if word gets out… Get a photo-shoot done, I could probably fit in a crib," he smirked, amused by his own words and the conversation he was having mainly with himself.

"Heh… This is gonna be a hell of a time."

* * *

**I know, I know, I'm bad at writing Deadpool, hopefully I can pick up tips and develop my writing for him the more I do (I'm used to RPing Peter), and he'll probably be a tad more in character when he's actually talking to Peter :) Anyway, thanks for reading, if you could review to let me know what you think (and so I know that people actually read this shit and whether or not I should continue it) that'd be greatly appreciated! Send me prompts too by PMing me if you want me to write something because otherwise I'm just lazy and don't write a goddamn thing... (Alternatively you can send me an ask on my tumblr (at .com) and I'll either post it on there or on here and answer it with the link.) Thank-you!**

**~Rara**


	2. Chapter 2

Wade sat crossed-legged on the carpet, sipping the scalding hot cup of coffee in his hands. In his other hand he was holding a chocolate biscuit that he'd eaten half or so of. His phone rang so he placed the biscuit down to his left. When the phone call was over he put it beside him and went to reach for his biscu- where the hell was his biscuit?

He looked around himself to find it however the chocolate biscuit was. Not. There.

"Goddamn it…" muttered Wade, standing up to go and get another one.

He returned from the kitchen.

He sat down.

His coffee and phone were definitely not on the floor anymore.

Wade narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Peter?"

The child was still asleep on the couch beside him, just where he'd left him.

Someone was in the house. And they were taking Wade's biscuits.

The babysitter reached inside his jacket pocket, pulling out the gun that he always kept there. He placed his second chocolate biscuit down, hid behind the curtain and waited.

And waited.

He really shouldn't have left his biscuit.

Peter rolled over, off the couch and onto the carpeted floor. Wade yelped and almost jumped out to help him but was stopped by what the child did next.

Peter _stood up_ and _walked_ over to the spot Wade had been sitting down on, picking up the chocolate biscuit and eating it with already dirty hands. His bottom was covered in the remains of another mostly eaten sticky chocolate biscuit. He looked around himself shiftily then walked back over to the couch and resumed his sleeping position, nibbling on his snack with his other hand.

Wade burst out laughing and came out from his hiding place, putting his gun back in his pocket.

"So you're walking now, huh Petey?" he laughed, giving the child an awkward little hug.

"Think of all the trouble we can get into now."

He wasn't even angry about the chocolate biscuit.

* * *

**AN:**

**Sorry for being so inactive, I'll try to start updating this more regularly soon again but this will probably be the last fanfiction I post on this account at least because I post more actively on AO3 and my tumblr at the moment so it's unlikely I'll start any new fanfics on this account, I'll just post the chapters for the incomplete ones and that'll be it. Short awful chapter, oops, sorry, but there we go.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Damn it you little crap, just eat your peas!" growled Wade, holding a spoon to the two-year-old's mouth and trying to nudge it in. The toddler opened his mouth and ate the spoonful in one, grinning menacingly at his babysitter. Wade put his arms up in the air in accomplishment with a whoop whilst Peter spat the peas out at Wade's head. Wade wiped the chewed-up green missiles from his mask in disgust and flicked them back into Peter's brown mop of hair.

Wade had been babysitting Peter for around a year and eight months and fourteen days (not like he'd been counting) and had been through numerous mishaps with him. Wade had been there when Peter first learnt to walk (although nobody believed Wade when he told them as Peter refused to walk in front of anybody else for a good two weeks) and his name had been the second word Peter said, coming second only to the word 'no'. Even though he obviously hated the job (which was clearly why he stayed longer at any opportunity for no extra charge) Peter seemed to be fond of him. The child was probably the only pleasant thing in his life.

The child whined.

"Ewww! Waaaayt!" he cried, scooping up a bit of mashed potato and catapulting it at his babysitter.

"Ewww! Peeetey!" he mimicked as he picked up a large handful of mash and put it on the other's head. "You're not the only one with hands, dumbass," he snorted.

Peter started crying. Wade dropped the food he was about to throw and moved to comfort him, patting his back with his potato-covered hands.

"It's okay Petey, look- I'm sorry, you're not really a dumbass, you just- okay, stop crying now, you're not allowed to cry when you have potato on your head, I can't take you seriously.

Peter rested his potato-y head onto Wade's shoulder and sniffling. "Sick," he mumbled in a grumpy voice, pointing at the potato on his head. "It sick."

Wade almost dropped the child, he was so mortified. He stumbled back and sat on the floor, sulking.

"Are you saying my potato looks like sick?"

"Ye."

"But I'm a good cook."

"Nah."

"You like my food."

"Nah."

There was a brief moment of silence shared between the two, Wade frozen in shock, before he laughed and stuck out his tongue at him.

Peter smiled cheekily and ate a big spoonful of his peas.


End file.
